We're all guilty of looking for personal validation on social media. From the number of likes we receive, to the lovely comments that people leave on our selfies, the way our society has developed means that social media is the most 'normal' and regular place for us to receive compliments. Not only that, but it's so easy to look at other people's profiles and compare ourselves to their hilarious tweets or how much fun they had at that party last weekend. What we seem to forget is that social media is not real life.

Banksy 'Nobody Likes Me'

I'll be the first to put my hand up and say that I'm guilty of all of this. Scrolling through my Instagram feed, it's easy to feel jealous of other people's beautiful selfies and how much fun they seem to be having. On the other hand, I'll always feel pleased when I get a lot of favourites on a tweet or a lot of comments on a photo. Just last night I told my housemate how excited I was that a new profile picture had reached over 100 likes. Shallow, I know - but we all do it.

What's important to remember is that the gorgeous photos we see on social media are only what people want us to see, their highlight reel. There's so much 'behind the scenes' stuff that we have absolutely no idea about, and somebody could actually be having a horrible time without anybody ever realising. Maybe that beautiful girl you follow is actually really insecure, or the party your friend went to that looked like so much fun wasn't actually that great after all. One of the prettiest, most popular girls I know has an incredible Instagram, posting gorgeous selfies and photos of her friends on nights out. I always felt a little jealous of her amazing life, but I found out a few weeks ago that she recently dropped out of uni because she wasn't having a great time, which only goes to show that we really have no idea what is going on behind the image. It's so easy to control the impression you want to give off on social media but, as I scrolled enviously through her Instagram, what I didn't see was how she was actually feeling.

It's the same with me. I'm meticulous with my Instagram, only posting photos that look good with the rest of my feed, obsessing over filters and captions and getting excited when my profile picture reaches a certain number of likes. What's important to remember though is that social media validation does not, and should not, equal self-esteem. Sure, I may get a little boost if I receive a few nice comments about how I look in that one photo, but I would always rather somebody compliment my character than my appearance. How you look changes day in, day out, but who you are deep down is what is truly important. That one photo with all those likes is only how I look maybe 3% of the time, with great lighting, a nice shirt and a flattering camera angle, but I'd like to believe that my friends would feel exactly the same way about me, whether I had over 100 likes or not.